Let’s face it, there is way more wrong with February than just one thing. I’m sure there are maybe 26 or more people who are actually fans of February. I am judging them harshly right now. Get your priorities in order before it’s too late, Friends of February! Unless your birthday is this month. Then you get a pass. I now present to you, in bulleted format for your reading convenience, reasons why February is worthless.
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It’s still winter. I have way more love for winter than I do for summer, but enough is enough.
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Awkward pronunciation. “February” just does not simply roll off the tongue. What’s with the random R stuck in the middle there all haphazardly?
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Valentine’s Day. V Day can suck it. Usually I’m not one of those people that hate the holiday when I’m single, but being freshly dumped gives me a whole new perspective on things. Kiss my ass, Valentine’s Day!
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Leap year. My happy birthday is less than one month away. So why does February have to be all rude and add an extra day standing betwixt me and a joyous celebration of the day of my birth? Not cool, February.
Now after reading those compelling arguments, how can anyone disagree? February sucks. Effyouary.

February 15, 2008 at 8:34 am
But National Panda Awareness day is in Februrary! For the love of God, Colleen, think of the pandas. Or at least be aware of them. I think we owe them that much.
Oh, and Peggy is definitely a whore.
February 15, 2008 at 8:47 am
See, now I just feel bad about my February hatred. I never meant to make the pandas sad.
February 15, 2008 at 9:40 am
Awww! Isn’t February remorse better than February hatred?