The Problem with February

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Let’s face it, there is way more wrong with February than just one thing.  I’m sure there are maybe 26 or more people who are actually fans of February.  I am judging them harshly right now.  Get your priorities in order before it’s too late, Friends of February!  Unless your birthday is this month.  Then you get a pass.   I now present to you, in bulleted format for your reading convenience, reasons why February is worthless.

  • It’s still winter.  I have way more love for winter than I do for summer, but enough is enough. 
  • Awkward pronunciation.  “February” just does not simply roll off the tongue.  What’s with the random R stuck in the middle there all haphazardly? 
  • Valentine’s Day.  V Day can suck it.  Usually I’m not one of those people that hate the holiday when I’m single, but being freshly dumped gives me a whole new perspective on things.  Kiss my ass, Valentine’s Day!
  • Leap year.  My happy birthday is less than one month away.  So why does February have to be all rude and add an extra day standing betwixt me and a joyous celebration of the day of my birth?  Not cool, February.

Now after reading those compelling arguments, how can anyone disagree?  February sucks.  Effyouary.  :-D

3 Responses to “The Problem with February”

  1. Josh Says:

    But National Panda Awareness day is in Februrary! For the love of God, Colleen, think of the pandas. Or at least be aware of them. I think we owe them that much.

    Oh, and Peggy is definitely a whore.

  2. Colleen Says:

    See, now I just feel bad about my February hatred. I never meant to make the pandas sad. :(

  3. Josh Says:

    Awww! Isn’t February remorse better than February hatred?

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