First of all let me start by saying that I really appreciate you closing the campus yesterday during that horrible snow storm that we had. It was really considerate of you. I especially appreciated the fact that you texted my phone at 5:00 a.m. to let me know of this closure. It really got my day off to a productive start.
I am, however, wondering what you did with your day off. One would think that you would have used this free time to clean off the campus roads and parking lots…maybe even throw out some salt. I guess you chose not to do this though. Instead you just pushed all of the snow into the two rows of Parking Lot A that have parking meters and went about your business. Lets be honest….why would someone want to park in a metered parking space close to the building they are going to when they could park in a red lot and walk the three miles across the lots that you didn’t bother to salt.
Now I am not blaming you for the horrific, ego shattering, face plant of a fall that I took this morning. I don’t hold you accountable for the miserable hour I spent taking notes in the lecture hall wearing wet jeans and a hoodie that were covered with weird tiny gravel pieces. I am sure it was my eagerness to get to my Bio lecture that made me walk less than cautiously across the lot and ended with this pain in my shoulder that radiates all the way through my wrist.
So thank you SIUE for not making me go to school yesterday. I can only hope that you will be as understanding and not make me go to school when I inevitably have to have rotator cuff surgery in the near future.
Somebody call PETA, PETU, XENU, whoever! This unicorn needs your help! The mere presence of this magnificent creature in Mariah Carey’s breasts’ new video absolutely constitutes unethical treatment. Unicorns are here to be revered, admired, adored and to facilitate the adornment of ill-fitting sweatshirts with their glittery likenesses, not to be ogled, molested and manipulated into appearing in the music videos of large-bosomed pop disasters.
I leave you with a link to Ms. Carey’s video and further evidence of her wanton disregard for one of our world’s rarest, most treasured forms of magical, mystical life. I know this is not easy to watch, but it’s important that we all bear witness.
My sister may be my favorite person in the whole world. This is due in part to the fact that she has a wonderful habit of saying very random but priceless quotes (some of you may be familiar with the dragon controversy). Tonight she delivered yet again while we were watching the classic Bravo television show, Make Me a Supermodel. Casey had just revealed that his biggest fear was snakes only to learn that the next photoshoot involved being put in a large box with a huge snake. Upon seeing this my sister’s reply was, “My biggest fear is tornadoes, they can’t put me in a box with a tornado.”
I have finally decided that I may be a little too wrapped up in the election. It started innocently enough checking out CNN.com and MSNBC.com while at work but it quickly spiraled out of control to where I am now. I have a pile of homework and I have to go to work tomorrow but instead I am sitting in my bed watching CNN thinking about how late I would have to stay up to see the results of the caucus in Hawaii.
I cannot imagine being involved in a political campaign in any real way. I would have lost my mind by now. As it is I have my laptop on looking up wtf is up with the Washington caucus/primary, 3 weeks worth of Newsweek on my bed, CNN on the T.V., and I just got off the phone with the guy I have been hanging out with and all we talked about was election coverage. I may need an intervention.
I was at the Regal Beagle tonight. Come and knock on our door! Also, I was reminded that moonshine, no matter how pretty the bottle or how delicious the name (I did not drink this at RB) is NASTY. Vom. That is all.
They require you to stand in awkward positions in front of someone spraying you with cold smelly liquid.
And then the next day, when you are supposed to be reaping all the benefits of your new sweet tan, you can’t even enjoy it because you know that no one believes that it’s real. It is not possible to leave the office and 5:00 and come back the next morning at 8:30 looking like you spent a week in Punta Cana. So you have to awkwardly tell everyone that you got a spray tan. And then they all want to know how it was so you have to relive the awkward 10 minutes that you spent naked in front of a spray tanning professional over and over again everytime someone asks.
It is unnatural….from start to finish…..(sigh of regret).
On an average day, Kim and I will speak on the phone approx. 33+ times. These conversations range from anywhere between 15 seconds to 5 or 10 minutes. For the last two days, no matter what either one of us is saying, the response is “You should totally blog about that!”
Some sample convos for your enjoyment (or boredom):
Kim: I am going home for lunch and making tater tots.
Me: You should totally blog about that!
Me: OMG this is the longest day ever and I think my clock is broken and it smells like weirdness in this office.
Kim: You should totally blog about that.
Kim: Why aren’t you blogging?
Me: Why aren’t YOU blogging?
Kim: I have nothing to say.
Me: You should totally blog about that.
So yeah, this is a special blog just for Kim. I have OFFICIALLY blogged about it. I win.
I don’t have to speak the Spanish to know what’s going on here. COMEBACK OF THE MILLENNIUM! Holograms what? Rio who? Mama’s on her own now. Good for her. You can only be so truly outrageous with those hangers-on.
The purple leopard/Jemstar combo is executed impeccably, though the moose knuckle is a bit unexpected.
Dear SIUE,
Posted by Kim 
Posted by Josh 
Posted by Kim 
