Like a bird?

More like a turd. Ms. Hanky the Coppertone Poo.

 

What in the world happened to Nelly Furtado? She looks like she just rolled out of a gangbang into this low-rent Rami Kashou number. Ugh.

 

It seems like just yesterday she was my sweet little Canadian song bird, and now… yick. I’m all for re-invention, pushing envelopes and all that, but come on. You start off as the irrelevant, oversexed rump-shaker and end up the bright, folksy artist with something to say. Dumbass has it backwards.

 

I blame Timbaland. 

 

God Hates Fred

Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but I’ll bet the Almighty is none too pleased with the shenanigans of this first class ass hat. Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church are the God Hates Fags people. You know, the big-hearted lot that picketed Matthew Shepard’s funeral several years ago and have since since moved on to picket the funerals of American soldiers. But hey – they’re just doing the Lord’s work, right? It’s in the Bible! The lost book of Moronicus 1:1 clearly states “And all ye in-breds shall rise up and be Meany McMeanersons to the gays. Oh, and to the soldiers, too. I know none of this makes any sense, but I’m God. Now STFU and git ta hatin’!”

 

Well, it seems old Fred’s yard sale tables are about to be turned. Coming soon to a Westboro Baptist Church near you – The Million Fag March! A peaceful protest is planned for March 30th outside of Fred’s very own WBC in Topeka, Kansas. Brilliant. You can RSVP, donate, or find out more about the MFM on their website or their myspace page. 

 

Now, I know this is supposed to be a non-violent protest, but let’s get real. If one of those hillbillies gives the stink-eye to the wrong drag queen, it’s toodeloo Topeka. When the glitter clears, nothing will remain but a smattering of rainbows, corn cob pipes, size 14 heels and the faint scent of Stetson. 

Oh, hells no!

 

 

Somebody call PETA, PETU, XENU, whoever! This unicorn needs your help! The mere presence of this magnificent creature in Mariah Carey’s breasts’ new video absolutely constitutes unethical treatment. Unicorns are here to be revered, admired, adored and to facilitate the adornment of ill-fitting sweatshirts with their glittery likenesses, not to be ogled, molested and manipulated into appearing in the music videos of large-bosomed pop disasters.

I leave you with a link to Ms. Carey’s video and further evidence of her wanton disregard for one of our world’s rarest, most treasured forms of magical, mystical life. I know this is not easy to watch, but it’s important that we all bear witness.

   

Click!